He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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