My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I skipped work to stalk him.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
