U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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