Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
