I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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