i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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