I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
