Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
