i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize