ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize