Cold hands, warm shart.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
