Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
