That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
do herpes really smell.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
