OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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