How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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