then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
