the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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