we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
