I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
