You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
