I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
