only if we run a train.
done.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
