But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
