Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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