my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
