i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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