What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
