Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
