I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
