I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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