Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
