come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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