i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
