Pants 0. Shit 1.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
