shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
