how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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