Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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