she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
