you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
