either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
