At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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