In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
