Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
