carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize