She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
