Me too!
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
