i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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