I need to stop coming to work sober
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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