I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Boobs speak an international language.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize