I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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