my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
