I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
