Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
