I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
