Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
