I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
