Please, let me fuck your mom
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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