HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
